Love in the time of snail mail: The Mendozas’ 48 years of marriage bliss

Their love story didn’t begin with a swipe, a like, or a late-night video call.

It began with a photograph mailed from the Philippines in 1977—and letters that took nearly a month round-trip. That was before social media. Before cheap international calls and before even reliable long-distance connections.

“It’s like old school,” Malou Mendoza said. “During that time, there’s no Facebook or anything, so it’s just through letters. You have to wait. Imagine, two to three weeks before the letter arrives. Then you reply, then you wait again. So it’s really patience.”

Lito Mendoza was already in the Marianas then. He first went to Guam in 1972 before moving to Saipan in 1975. Malou was in the Philippines, staying in Caloocan but doing rural nursing practice in Iloilo.

“The girlfriend of my brother sent my picture to him, and then he started writing,” Malou said. “Some sort of penpal during the time.”

“Penpal during the time,” Lito echoed.

Phone calls were a luxury.

“The telephone is too expensive,” Malou said. “Maybe once in two months like that. Because it’s $40 a month. During that time, $40 is already big money. So mostly letters. No telegram, no anything like that. Just letters.”

The long-distance courtship lasted about a year and a half before Lito finally flew home to meet her in person.

“That’s the first time we met,” he said.

It wasn’t instant sparks.

“Actually, it’s not,” Lito said when asked if it was love at first sight. “It’s love at second sight now.”

“It was developed,” Malou said. “Not instant. I think it’s better when it’s developed. Because you get to know the person first. Not just because you see and then that’s it. Ours is really through letters first, so you know the character.”

They were married on Dec. 31, 1978.

Three months later, Malou joined him on Saipan.

“During that time, it’s very easy to get green cards,” Lito said. “When I got my green card, she’s got also her.”

They built their life steadily—the way many families did in those early years of the Northern Marianas’ growth.

Lito worked with Landscapers International and helped plant and develop several of Saipan’s better-known golf courses and resorts.

“Laolao [Golf & Resort], the Kingfisher [Golf Links], the Coral [Ocean Resort],” he said. “Mariana [Resort & Spa] also. We planted all the grasses there.”

By 1987, the couple had ventured into business, starting L&M Enterprises Inc.—for Lito and Malou—producing longganisa and tocino before expanding into chicharon in the mid-1990s. In 1990, Lito opened Tropex Garden Co. Ltd., while in 1997 Malou also helped establish Traders Insurance Co.

“It’s not chicharon first,” Malou said. “It’s the longganisa and the tocino. So I’m the one mixing everything. I’m the one in the factory because it’s near the house.”

Though a nurse by profession, she shifted into entrepreneurship out of necessity and opportunity.

“I don’t even know how to cook,” she said, laughing. “A friend of ours in Guam has this business, then he taught me how to make the longganisa. So from there, we try. We tasted it first. Then slowly, it grew.”

They were blessed with two daughters after eight years of marriage. Running multiple businesses while raising a family required help—and structure.

“During that time, it’s easy because everybody knows everybody,” Malou said. “And we’re lucky because we were able to get help. It’s not that strict before, so relatives from the Philippines can come and help us. So I have help during that time.”

Even at their busiest, some routines never changed.

“We always eat together and go to church together,” Malou said. “So at least we have bonding all the time. Even if we’re busy, we make sure we sit down and eat together. That’s important.”

Faith remains central to their marriage.

“It must be always God. God first,” Lito said.

For 48 years, they have served in the Simbang Gabi ministry.

Ask Malou the secret to nearly five decades of marriage and she answers without hesitation.

“Respect each other and don’t put one down,” she said. “Because once you put one down, that’s already hurting. And communication. You don’t go to sleep at night if you have a bad fight. If there’s a problem, you settle it down before you sleep. That’s very important.”

“Actually, we never fight,” Lito said.

“Maybe tampo (misunderstanding), tampo like that,” Malou clarified. “But never shout at each other. Never. For 48 years.”

Valentine’s Day this year will be simple—dinner, possibly at Miyako.

“Usually Miyako because he loves Japanese food,” Malou said.

“I like Japanese food,” Lito said.

After 48 years—from handwritten letters to businesses, ministries, and grandchildren—the message to each other remains uncomplicated.

“I always love Malou,” Lito said. “And I will never change my mental love with her. No cheating.”

“Only side glance,” he joked.

Malou smiled and uttered, “I love you and I love our relationship because we grow,” she told her old penpal.